my trust vs. ppl..
uhm..its been a while..almost forgot the existence of my blog.. =P
well..theres nothing really new in my life anyway.. same stuff different day.. so theres no need to write something on my blog..hehehe..
some close friends once told me that i need to change in trusting other ppl so easily..which is actually very true.. i dont know why, but i always believe that everyone have their bad side and good side..and i (sadly) really believe that everyone are good..that they r not gonna hurt me or something..if i dont hurt them.. coz i believe in karma.. maybe it could happen in a perfect world..that i dont live in..
im too naive..? might be.. coz it wasnt the first time or the second time that someone clearly hurted me..backstabbed me..lied to me..broke their promises…. and what did i do to them..? nothin..!! yes..nothin..!! if it comes to ppl that close to me..sometimes i just dont feel like i want to do a revenge.. coz my mom taught me not to revenge on other ppl..if they did something bad to u..show them that they couldnt let u down… sounds perfect for a perfect world.. and sadly..once again i dont live on d perfect world…
backstabbing (not the real stabbing with knives or whatever)….ever wondering why they call it like that..? hehehe..maybe coz its stabbing a person from the back..so the person wouldnt know.. =P but for me..i guess it might be becoz of the pain and hurt are the same with the real backstabbing with knives..? hahaha..well..it doesnt make sense.. okay..im not gonna say anything about it then.. =P
betrayal..betrayal and backstabbing are kinda similar for me.. wanna know the feeling of getting both of them together..? well..u can ask me about it.. it will be my pleasure to punch u on d eye..hehehe..jk..
back to the topic.. trusting other ppl.. i just cant help it.. but i learned a lot since i live here in indiana…i changed a bit in that department.. i still trust other ppl though..but now i know the level of trust that i can give.. so im not gonna get the same stuff twice..rite..? 
actually…the backstabbing things are really interested.. coz til now..i still dont get it.. okay..for example like this..(just an example ppl..chill..=P) u have someone that loves u very much..but u have to go for some time..u realized u love that person back..but u care about them too much, u didnt want to block n hold his/her future..coz u knew u cant be with him for some time.. but then..a friend of him/her that u know came into u two.. it was pure friendship at first..but then..kaboom..!! they fell in love.. and left u thinkin about ur future with him/her that since then floating on the air.. unanswered proposal.. unanswered questions.. broken promises.. all of them were mixed into one.. brokenhearted..
normal ppl, i believe wouldnt give up just like that… but what if u r not one of those ppl..? r u still gonna trust ppl like u used to be..?
im living my new life with ppl that i love in here.. i already moved on.. but when it comes with the heart talking.. i cant deny that all of the shadow from my past keep coming and make me feel insecure.. tried so hard to trust ppl in love department..even though i know i have my family n some friends back home that will always love me..no matter what..
why it is so easy for me to trust other ppl in everyday life..? but its hard to trust other ppl to get into my heart..? once i trusted them..and then they hurted me for many times.. i think im enough with it.. lets God leads me the way out..! and shows me my way to my future..!
December 3rd, 2006 at 9:46 pm
yes Sabrina, i really understand how you feel, and you know something similar happened to me too.. i loved somebody so much, but the love that i felt did not matter for her. What i mean is, that girl was the first love that i have ever had, and then she left me for one little thing. And the worst part is, she left me because i got mad on her for mistake that she did, and she never admit it… I understand how you feel about people that you trust all the time, and then they just backstab you, talk with all of your friends about your relationship and lie.. i really understand you… i do.. even if i really wish to go back with that girl, she has ego that is too big for me to handle. It is so big that she would never accept the guilt anymore.. I really do understand you…
December 3rd, 2006 at 11:05 pm
sounds like that girl is urself ignas.. maybe u should see ur mistakes too..? or no..? well..its up to u..
thanx for understanding what i feel.. i didnt know that u still checkin ur fs though..
okay then..take care..!